hello, pasadena

Suck it, Michigan.

sometimes i get it right

Bebe had a rough day at school and she didn't want to go to karate class. She fussed and worked herself into quite a state. I very calmly told her she didn't have to do the class, but she did have to go with us -- I couldn't leave an eight year old at home by herself. And I insisted, again very calmly, that she had to wear her gi and bring her belt, just in case she changed her mind and wanted to do class. She was not happy about that, but she changed clothes.

She was very unhappy on the drive over to the dojo. "I don't want to do class, Mama." "I know. And you don't have to. But we do have to go in so Lou can take class."

The minute we walked in the door she took off her shoes and stashed them in the storage shelf, saluted, and walked on the mat to start stretching. She did squat sets with a lot of energy and very loud kiais. (That's the shout let out when finishing a specific move.) And she really buckled down as they practiced pop and roundhouse kicks. When class was finished and she came off the mat, she was happy and relaxed.

And all I said was, "I can tell you feel a lot better and I'm glad for you. I'm really proud that you took class today."

scientific laughter

Charlotte was all abuzz about volcanoes and magma and lava because they learned about it at school today. While I was making her lunch, she said, "Mama, did you know there are volcanoes UNDER THE SEA?" Why, yes, yes I did.

"And lava is very hot because it is hot, melty rocks! Isn't that cool?"

"Yes, Cha, it's very cool. Wait -- no -- it's very, very hot!"

And then she laughed her head off.

a sentence never uttered before

Archie and I went to a birthday party for one of his coworkers last night. A group of us sat outside, talking. At one point, one of his friends was trying to mimic some porn music and it was very strange and wrong, so I made some wocka-chocka sounds and then told them about the snails in a nature documentary we watched with Charlotte where the snails were getting it on and then toppled over slowly in their snaily passion. A woman said she had a friend who actually helped stage those kinds of scenes.

"You mean the snails had a fluffer?" I asked.

Everyone laughed very loudly and Archie said, "I think that is a completely unique sentence that has never been spoken before."

happiness, muted

So, my beloved Cubs finally wrapped up the division. Seriously, I'm thrilled. And my big girls had their first belt test in Kajukenbo and did a fantastic job and are now the proud wearers of white belts with yellow stripes. On to yellow!

But, Lou has some stomach bug -- no fever, but she's been throwing up and she slept it off for several hours. She just got up and had some applesauce and toast. You know your child is sick and hungry when she says, "Wow! Yum!" for applesause and toast.

Hopefully, she'll continue to mend and feel up for a healthier and more exciting day tomorrow than puking, sleeping, and watching SpongeBob.

wasting time

I should be cleaning, but instead I'm writing here. (Don't worry, Archie -- I'll get the house in some vague semblance of order.)

My shuffle has been telling me one other thing. It's telling me that all of my music is from the 80s and 90s. Well, except for some Franz Ferdinand and the Shins. Hell, one song even explicitly says it's from the 80s -- "Don't tell me that it can't be done/'Cause we're livin' in the 80s." Oh, Nick Lowe, how I love you. "Jumbo Ark" and "All Men Are Liars"? Just fun. I think all men are liars has one of my favorite lyrics ever -- "There stands the naked ape in a monkey suit/Behind the little mustache he grew/The shifty brute."

Sadly, even Mr.Lowe has been cranking out albums in this century, yet I have not kept up in my listening. I think I'll have to get on that.

i think my shuffle is trying to tell me something

I was driving in the car and listening to my shuffle on, well, shuffle. Heh. And it played "It's All Been Done" and then "Galileo."

I think my shuffle is telling me I should become a Buddhist. Which I will try to get around to -- oh, in my next life.

Hi. I'm back from vacation and getting all of my children in school. My apologies to the several people who keep checking in every day.

best nickname ever

Archie likes to watch the mixed martial arts fighting on TV. Mostly, he TiVos it and watches it in our office/guest room, because I am not what you would call a big fan. But, tonight he was watching something in the family room and he paused the TV to inform me of the nickname of one of the combatants. Are you ready?

The Mexicutioner.

Isn't that awesome? Sadly, the Mexicutioner lost the match. But he lives on in our hearts because of his fantastic nickname.

california fun in the sun

Yesterday was the employee summer picnic and so we packed up and headed to Santa Cruz to spend the day at the Boardwalk. It was pretty much fun from beginning to end, with only a few hiccups.

We had lunch first and they had a person doing airbrush tattoos, so the girls and I all got tats. I went to get a beer and the very sweet guy said, "You're 21, right?" "Uh, yeah, but you can see my ID if you want." So I handed him my license and he squinted at it and then at me and said, "You're 42? No way!" And I smiled and said, "You have just scored a tip, my friend!"

We went to the beach and got our feet wet in the Pacific and then headed for the Boardwalk. First up was the merry-go-round. It's the only carousel that you can still grab a brass ring on (and then you toss it at a clown with a hole for a mouth and if it goes in there are lights and loud sounds -- Archie actually got one in). Then Cha and Lou and I went on this rock and roll ride which was loud and fast and fun. We got some ice cream and then tried to talk the girls into the flume ride, but they all said no way. So I took Cha and Lou on the ferris wheel. This was a minor mistake since I always forget that Louisa hates heights and she spent the ride with her eyes squinched shut. Then we went on the tilt-a-whirl and Bebe joined us (Archie won't ride the twirly rides because they make him sick) and Bebe was not happy and started to cry. So I felt awful about that. We made it up to her by having another go at the merry go round. Then we went back to the beach to splash around before we headed home.

Archie made us tuna melts for dinner and then off to bed for everyone. We mostly had a really great time and only had some crabbiness when it was time to leave. Archie got to laugh his head off at me when we were walking, though. I was holding Cha's hand and Bebe was walking with Arch and I kept looking around and finally stopped and said, "Oh, God, where's Louisa?" Archie laughed and laughed and I felt a tug on my other hand as Lou said, "Mommy, I'm right here!" Best parenting freak-out ever -- I wasn't even registering that I was holding her hand!

After our ride experiences, I think when we go to the Ohio State Fair in another week that we'll stick to kid rides and Lou and Cha will join me on some twirly stuff. I am totally going to get Cha to go with me on the mini-roller coaster, though. That child likes the thrill. She was cackling like a crazy hen on every one we rode. She will apparently be my amusement park buddy.

poor, sick baby

Charlotte was up and down last night and that's unusual for her. This morning she didn't want to get out of bed, but we had to take the girls to daycamp. She was just kind of lolling around on the couch and I realized she hadn't asked for breakfast. When I asked her if she was hungry, she said no, so I felt her and she was hot.

I took her temp and she's got a 100 degree fever -- not scary, but enough to make her lethargic and not herself. I gave her some Motrin and the fever has come down a bit and she's drinking water -- although she has no appetite. I'm not afraid she'll starve or anything.

I hate the unexplained fevers. She says she doesn't have a headache or tummyache and there's no rash or anything like that. I just have to keep an eye on her and make sure she gets enough fluid.

Poor baby.

borders was on crack

On Friday, I called our local Borders to inquire about their Harry Potter release party. The guy said, "Have you reserved a copy?" I replied, "You really think I need to reserve a copy? You're going to run out of the most anticipated release since, well, forever?"

"Well, we're advising people to come on Sunday when we'll sell books that were reserved but haven't been picked up."

"Dude, I'm pretty certain I can secure a copy somewhere tomorrow. But thanks."

And -- what do you know? -- when we went to Target there was a huge, book-filled display. Shocking! It was fun to kid with Louisa, though. "Hey! Wasn't there a book you wanted? Something like Larry Snotter? Or Barry Hotter?"

"Mo-om! Harry Potter!"

"I heard that everyone gets killed and the school burns down."*

"Mo-om!"

[* I did not really hear this. That was a joke, just in case you think I would have some spoiler-y Harry Potter info.]

eight years ago

I looked over at Archie. He didn't have that softened look around the eyes most people have when they look at a baby. He looked panicked and kind of terrified and I could only see a bundle wrapped in a blanket that seemed to be a dishtowel with blue stripes on the ends. A nurse put another bundle on my chest and I looked into a tiny red face who was screaming at me -- "Waahh!" Pause. "Waahh!" Pause. "Waahh!"

"What do you think, Mom?"

I looked up at the nurse, at said, "That's a baby."

She laughed. "Of course it's a baby! What did you think it was?"

"I don't know. But that's a baby."

"Yes, that's a baby. And you have another one just like her over there."

And then I felt incredibly nauseated because, holy shit, I now had two babies.



*****



Now those two babies are eight. I can barely reconcile that these big girls who gallump around the house and read and giggle and tear around on their mountain bikes were once those babies who terrified me right after they were born.

Happy birthday, Elizabeth Annika and Louisa May.

it's like 2004!

Archie and I had old, clunky Nokia cell phones. No flip cover, no download capabilities, no camera, just phones. We've had them forever. But we got new phones yesterday and they are wonderful and do all kinds of cool things and we're having (or at least, I'm having) lots of fun with them. As you can probably guess by the title of this post, we didn't get iPhones because, what are you? Crazy? We have three kids and a gigantic mortgage and one income -- we can't even begin to pretend to imagine to justify spending that much money on phones, no matter how cool they are. No, we got Razors. We have moved into the mid-aughts, people!

We have texted! We've had fun trying to think up interesting ringtones. We've taken pictures. We've sent pictures! It's like we're 12.

The best thing was last night. I was getting ready to go to the grocery store and Archie was reading to the girls. He asked me to add a few things to the list. He told me a few normal things and then started going on and on with stupid things -- like a pool and a pony and the Eiffel Tower. Ha ha. Except as I put down the pen and prepared to walk out, Archie said, "Oh, yeah, and some Frosted Mini Wheats." Of course, all I wanted to do was flip him off, but the kids were all right there, so I was limited in how to express my annoyance.

I went into the living room and took my phone and took a picture of my hand with my middle finger extended. Then I sent it to Archie. Sadly, I thought it was pretty damn funny that I flipped off my husband using my brand-new phone. Because that is what all technology should do -- give me an interesting and novel new way to flip off my husband.

I can't wait until he annoys me again -- I'm torn as to whether I should text him and say, "Dick" or "Suck it".

Maybe "Suk it".

girly stuff

Not the little girl stuff, but big girl stuff.

I am happy to say that I have graduated from my very low-maintenance Cetaphil/Neutrogena sunblock/whatever cheap-o drugstore moisturizer was on sale to the Philosophy (or philosophy, I guess) skincare system. My skin has always been fairly decent, but after the kids, I just didn't have the time or inclination to do more than the most very basic care. Also, my inner cheapskate kicked in and I just couldn't justify spending a lot on something that I wouldn't or couldn't keep up with. But, lo! The children are not quite as time-intensive as in days past and I have been making it a priority to take care of myself a little more. And my skin loves me! It really, really loves me! And while my new skincare routine really isn't that much more of a time-suck than before, it feels a little more special.

And, I have some new makeup loves. Which is really saying something since I basically gave up on makeup for the past seven years except for events. I have a Neutrogena tinted moisturizer that works more like a sheer foundation that's really nice. And the boutique-y Mark line from Avon (or mark., I guess) is cheap and fun and I have a whole slew of lip glosses! Lip glosses with attached mints that fit right in my very tiny purse. Because I don't need to carry the Diaper Bag of Doom anymore. Yay!

Also, I got a whole bunch of new clothes! Clothes that include skirts and new shoes and cashmere sweaters. Oh, my dresser drawer filled with cashmere is a beautiful thing. And this is all because my kids no longer treat me as the human Kleenex and they no longer cling to me like baby koala bears.

It's amazing how a little girly stuff and a bit of time (not to mention a full night's sleep every night) makes me feel. I'm all cute and stuff. Now if those pesky gray hairs would magically disappear, I'd be golden. Heh.

alas, we cannot be friends

A reader from Germany left a message on a post from a year ago where I made a silly comment about how someone reading would want to be my best friend because I am so cool -- the post was about sabermetrics and, while I love baseball, I think admitting you watched a show about statistics makes you about the uncoolest person ever.

So, zenmiester, the comment was read and I found it amusing. But. I followed the link to your profile and we can never be friends. You have listed that you love baseball but you hate the Cubs. Oh, evil reader! Begone!

OK, not really. Please come back and visit again. But really, how can anyone hate the Cubs? I mean, it's not like they're the Yankees. Unless, of course, you hate them like I do for never winning. That I can understand. Well, I could understand if you were just disappointed continually.

Say you are merely disappointed in the Cubs and then we can eat popcorn, watch Ken Burns' "Baseball", and braid each other's hair.

the hierarchy of crabbiness

I have three crabby girlies. I think the main reason is that the time change was so much earlier this year. So, at their regular bedtime, it's still really light outside. They just don't want to go to sleep -- but they need the sleep because they have to get up and go to school in the morning (until next Thursday). This happened last year, too, but it was much closer to school being out. I've been dealing with this for over a month and I'm really over it.

But, due to all the crabbiness, Archie came up with a hierarchy of crabbiness. From least to most crabby, as follows:

hermit crab
crab
mega crab
ultra crab
Platinum crab by American Express

Needless to say, mentioning what level of crabbiness is being displayed just increases the crabosity. But Archie and I can't help ourselves. Hell, they're going to be little crustaceans anyway -- we might as well be amused as irritated.

So, the other day, Elizabee was very out of sorts and it was declared that she was Platinum crab by American Express. Then Lou, who is usually the crabbiest child, said, "Oh, I think she's reached the Louisa crab level!" This is funny because, well, Lou is the crab extraordinaire. But, it's also notable because she is not known for her self-deprecation. So this was a real milestone for her, as well as a humorous comment. We laughed.

And, of course, Bebe thought we were laughing at her, but we were really just amused by Ms. Louisa. OK, we were kind of laughing at Bebe, too. Because then she reached an entirely new plateau of crabbiness, yet to be named.

I can't wait for school to be over.

this year sucks for my sports teams

Has anyone reading noticed this? It has been a sad, pathetic year for the teams I've been rooting for. The Buckeyes lost national chamionships in football and basketball. Now the Suns are out of the playoffs. While I am always optimistic about my Cubs, we all know where it's probably headed.

If you have a team you hate, leave a comment and I will focus my losing vibes on them. Guaranteed satisfaction.

hope springs eternal

I'm reading a lot of commentary about last night's game and much of it is about how the Spurs are just a better team and the Suns have no chance. Which, in the hopeful light of a new morning, I refuse to accept. The Suns had no Stoudemire or Diaw and they only lost by three. Yeah, those Spurs were just walking all over the Suns.

Suns in seven! Suns in seven!

(Will it happen if I wish for it hard enough? Heh.)

god damn

The Spurs by three.

hopin' and prayin'

So, if you haven't been keeping up, the Suns are tied at two all in their series against the Spurs. And the last game looked to be going to San Antonio until the very end when Phoenix caught on fire and turned the whole game around. Then there was the little matter of a hard foul where Horry checked Nash (poor Nash -- a badly cut nose, a knee to the groin, and now a hockey move) into the scorers' table. Which caused Bell to get in Horry's face and then Stoudamire and Diaw came off the bench (oh, no!), but were pulled back by coaches and teammates. The Suns won.

Except there's this rule that, in the event of an altercation, players who are on the bench must stay on the bench or suffer a suspension. So, two starters aren't playing tonight. Horry got a two-game vacation, but so what? He's not some absolutely integral part of the Spurs' game. The Suns just lost their top scorer because of something the other team did. Damn.

But. It's halftime and the Suns are up by 11. The Spurs had their lowest-scoring first half of the entire season. I think the Phoenix players are all having power naps in the locker room, right now.

Please. Please. Please.