Tuesday, April 29, 2008

the perfect storm of quirkiness

Last night was terrific. The twins were in a good mood, everyone had their homework done with minimal freak-outs, no one complained about leftover pasta for dinner, all children were bathed well before bedtime. We even had pie for dessert, right before the girls were off to bed.

Let me say that Cha is at the point where she's fascinated with death. Not in a completely morbid, detail-oriented way, just kind of run-of-the-mill-everyone-will-die-even-me way. Louisa is very sensitive. She will get choked up about anything which isn't all rainbows and unicorns. And Bebe just wants to fix everything and keep everyone on an even keel. With that in mind, this was the conversation I had last night:

[The twins are finishing their pie and I'm straightening up the kitchen. Cha comes out of the bathroom where she's finished brushing her teeth.]

Cha: Mama, when I die, will you come to my funeral?
Me: Sweetie, usually children live longer than their parents. Probably your own children will go to your funeral.
Lou: Can we not talk about this? It makes me cry! [She starts to get choked up.]
Cha: But if I die before you, Mama, will you come to my funeral?
Me: Honey, you're upsetting Louisa. Let's talk about this tomorrow when the big girls are at school.
[Louisa is now sobbing. Bebe gets up and goes over to Charlotte.]
Bebe: [whispering] Charlotte, I will come to your funeral, OK? Let's go to the bedroom and let Sissy finish her dessert and I'll read you a book.

I was trying very hard not to laugh. Which is very mean of me, but come on! "Will you come to my funeral?" What is she, a 16 year old goth girl? And I have empathy for Louisa's sensitivity because I can be that way myself. But. I've seen her get worked up in exactly the same way because we're out of Key Lime yogurt. And Bebe trying to make everything all better! I thought I would die over the whispering, but promising to go to Charlotte's funeral just struck me as funny. Also, removing the sister who won't get a clue is classic Bebe -- if she'd tried to comfort Louisa, it would have all ended very badly.

God, I love them. But they are very, very quirky.

Monday, April 28, 2008

another good nickname

While watching MMA tonight, we saw a guy called Lyle "Fancypants" Beerbohm. That is fairly amusing and may be in the running against the Mexicutioner.

In fact, I would like to see a match of the Mexicutioner vs. Fancypants. Sadly, they are in different weight classes.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

watching american idol with the kids

This year, the twins have expressed interest in watching American Idol. It's been fun to talk about who we like and if we think the singers are doing a good job and to complain about Simon. Oh, how quick kids are to catch on to a formula. This morning (I let them watch the previous night's show while getting ready for school), as Paula was winding down her always-complimentary comments, Louisa said, "And Simon says...something bad!" Which cracked me up. And he said...something bad. To which Louisa said, "Ta da!"

Monday, April 21, 2008

a sentence never uttered before II: electric boogaloo

[The original is here.]

Elizabeth just said, "Oh, look -- my liver is under the table! I've been looking for that!"

It's a stuffed toy liver, but still. That's comedy.

Friday, April 18, 2008

puppet mania

Louisa wanted to make a puppet tonight. Specifically, a sock puppet. But I am not crafty and I didn't really have what she wanted to make a sock puppet -- buttons and yarn for hair and whatnot. Also, I don't have any small size lunch bags kicking around, so that was right out, too.

But we could use markers and make a hand puppet a la Senor Wences (please imagine the tilde in Senor). Do you know Senor Wences?

So then, of course, Louisa's hand puppet was quite the hit and Beebs and Cha wanted their very own. Bebe made an owl, which I thought was quite clever and I was trying to help Cha learn how to move her thumb so the "mouth" would move and explain Senor Wences to Lou at the same time.

Cha somehow smudged the mouth of her puppet and she was slighty upset until I reassured her that she could wash her hand and we could make another one. But as she ran to the bathroom to wash her hand, I told Archie, "With the smudged mouth it looks like a Courtney Love hand puppet." And then Archie started to sing "Celebrity Skin."

Thursday, April 17, 2008

things to make your day happy

1. The Cubs are in second place and well over .500. This is not a jinx -- it is always good to revel when the Cubbies are doing well. You never know when it might end. (This is known as the "When's it gonna spill?" rule.*)
2. Tim Conway telling the elephant story from the Carol Burnett Show. This is only the second funniest thing ever...
3. ...because Tim Conway as a Nazi with a Hitler puppet is even funnier.
4. You can go and find the "Went With the Wind" thing yourself -- but really? The dress made out of the curtains is so fantastic -- I'm giggling right now remembering the curtain rod! And, the tassel as a hat!

[*So, if you ask an optomist to describe a glass with half liquid in it, she will say it's half full; a pessimist will say it's half empty. A Cubs fan asks, "When's it gonna spill?")

happy early birthday to me

I came home from taking the girls to school to find a lovely black MacBook sitting on the side table next to my chair. I love my husband! Thank you, sweetie! I am making this post from it right now and it is lovely and small (I specifically noted that if the spirit should ever move Archie to get me a new laptop, I did want the smaller size because, well, I don't really need the biggest thing possible) and all new. Also, I'm going to try to make it all mine -- no little girls fighting over it. OK, I may let them use the photo booth thing. And I will leave the folder Louisa made on my desktop, labelled "awesome folder!" because that is hilarious.

In other materialistic news, I am now smitten with this bicycle. (The particular model I want is the classic 3 in black.) I will never be a serious cyclist and the looks of that bike make me happy -- as does the fact that our local bike shop (seriously local -- right up the street from our house) is an Electra dealer. I have already outfitted it with a back basket and a mirror and a little back roll bag for under the saddle. Archie thinks I'm ridiculous, but whatev. It's pretty and I would have a blast pedalling around on it.

Also, I want this camera. Do I take pictures? No, not very often. And film? Why would I want to go there? I guess I'm having a good time imaginging a life riding around on my Dutch-like bike, stopping to take a few pictures with my plastic camera that uses film -- could I be more of a Luddite?

The weirdness of being me -- I'm all goopy about my new computer, but pining over bikes and film cameras. Welcome to the contradictions!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

all that matters

There is a new 30 Rock on tonight. I love that show. I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

a short conversation

I was reading Vanity Fair yesterday evening (I think I can call it yesterday evening, since it's 12.30am or so) and the girls were all in their jammies and had eaten dinner and were occupied with various things. I expected Archie home at any time because he had kajukenbo class. The phone rang. I went into the kitchen to answer it and it was Archie.

"Hi, it's me. My ride had a late meeting and I'm not going to make it home anytime soon..."
[At this point, I walk over to the sink so I can throw something I picked up off the floor in the trash and there is yogurt all over the rug in front of the sink.]
"Oh, God damn it!"
"I'm really sorry -- but Marty is stuck in a meeting..."
"Honey, I'm not upset at you. We're all fine; everything is under control. It's just that there's yogurt on the floor..."
"I told you the kids have to eat at the table."
"They did! But one of them threw away a yogurt container and spilled some on the floor. Why did we have kids again? Remind me?"
"Because it's fulfilling."
"Oh, yeah. Right. Just not so much right this very moment."

[And then the rest of the evening was terrific and the girls were silly and fun. But still and all -- the yogurt on the floor was not a welcome addition to my day.]

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

last week on lost

They're still lost. And, they're still lost. Did we mention how lost they are? Are you confused yet, because they are and they're lost. And now they're taking turns pushing a button -- but still lost.

Arch and I are just a few eps in to the second season. Archie walks around whistling the creepy theme music. I wish he'd get busy and come up with some lyrics. Something like, "They're really lost...they're all still lost...yep, they're lost..."

We watch at least an episode a night -- sometimes we squeeze in two. We're only several years behind everyone else!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

thanks, public school system

This morning, the girls became fixated on a piece of cake which we brought home from a birthday party. Shocker -- they wanted to eat it for breakfast. Archie and I both calmly and firmly told them that we were not allowing them to have cake for breakfast.

Charlotte said, "Hey! Let's strike!" And then she and her sisters started to march around the kitchen chanting, "Strike! Strike! Strike!"

I looked at Archie and said, "And this is what happens when kindergartners are taught about Cesar Chavez. They encourage strike tactics at 8am over cake."

I really can't wait until they pick up on the phrase, "Speaking truth to power." Because I am gonna laugh my head off and then say, "Oh, sweeties, power trumps kid truth in this house. You want chocolate cake for breakfast, you're going to have to get your own house."

Monday, April 07, 2008

where did march go?

Wow. March just slipped right by, huh? I'm trying to think what we've all been up to, but it's mostly just the same fun and minor kerfluffles and general awesomeness.

Is that bragging? Sorry. But I put up with a whole lot of non-awesomeness early on with the twins, especially, and the girls just seem to get better and more fun and everything all the time. The twins are now orange belts and Cha and I will probably start with kajukenbo this summer. We'll be a whole kar-a-tay family! A while ago, I was all excited because everyone in the house used the toilet and now I'm ecstatic because everyone can read! Cha loved books and being read to, but now she's all about reading to us. As with all big changes, the initial phases are a tad tiresome -- it can take thirty minutes for her to make it through a book that I could easily knock out for her in half the time -- but it's also so sweet. And, being Cha, she literally wiggles all around throughout the reading.

There have been birthday parties and tests (Lou took an ability test for the gifted program in our district and she was going on about how easy it was, so, maybe she's well on her way to being a super-evil-genius, heh). Cha seems to be getting close to controlling her wiggling in class. Maybe. The twins are excelling in everything, it seems. Archie and I have become hooked on "Lost" via DVD.

Oh, and baseball season is here. April is always a welcome time.