alas, we cannot be friends

A reader from Germany left a message on a post from a year ago where I made a silly comment about how someone reading would want to be my best friend because I am so cool -- the post was about sabermetrics and, while I love baseball, I think admitting you watched a show about statistics makes you about the uncoolest person ever.

So, zenmiester, the comment was read and I found it amusing. But. I followed the link to your profile and we can never be friends. You have listed that you love baseball but you hate the Cubs. Oh, evil reader! Begone!

OK, not really. Please come back and visit again. But really, how can anyone hate the Cubs? I mean, it's not like they're the Yankees. Unless, of course, you hate them like I do for never winning. That I can understand. Well, I could understand if you were just disappointed continually.

Say you are merely disappointed in the Cubs and then we can eat popcorn, watch Ken Burns' "Baseball", and braid each other's hair.

the hierarchy of crabbiness

I have three crabby girlies. I think the main reason is that the time change was so much earlier this year. So, at their regular bedtime, it's still really light outside. They just don't want to go to sleep -- but they need the sleep because they have to get up and go to school in the morning (until next Thursday). This happened last year, too, but it was much closer to school being out. I've been dealing with this for over a month and I'm really over it.

But, due to all the crabbiness, Archie came up with a hierarchy of crabbiness. From least to most crabby, as follows:

hermit crab
crab
mega crab
ultra crab
Platinum crab by American Express

Needless to say, mentioning what level of crabbiness is being displayed just increases the crabosity. But Archie and I can't help ourselves. Hell, they're going to be little crustaceans anyway -- we might as well be amused as irritated.

So, the other day, Elizabee was very out of sorts and it was declared that she was Platinum crab by American Express. Then Lou, who is usually the crabbiest child, said, "Oh, I think she's reached the Louisa crab level!" This is funny because, well, Lou is the crab extraordinaire. But, it's also notable because she is not known for her self-deprecation. So this was a real milestone for her, as well as a humorous comment. We laughed.

And, of course, Bebe thought we were laughing at her, but we were really just amused by Ms. Louisa. OK, we were kind of laughing at Bebe, too. Because then she reached an entirely new plateau of crabbiness, yet to be named.

I can't wait for school to be over.