Last night, Archie picked up a little notepad left on the floor. He read the writing and said, "Oh my God! What in the hell is this?" He seemed genuinely upset. He handed me the pad and written on the first page was the following:
Prtend to be dead. Ues handcuffs. Distact him.
(Translation: Pretend to be dead. Use handcuffs. Distract him.)
Archie was freaked out and concerned about what this could possibly mean and why a 6 year old would write it. I joked that he was so worried because it was obviously about him -- what with Archie being the only male in the house. I was unconcerned because the list was obviously not referring to me. "Been nice knowing you, honey. Sorry one of the girls is out to get you."
Being a dad, Archie did take the time to note that there were only 3 spelling errors.
This morning, I asked the big girls which of them had written the list and what it meant. Louisa 'fessed up that it was her handiwork and it described ways to get Lance. Lance is the current focus of that time-honored playground obsession of chasing a member of the opposite sex. So, she could play dead and lure him close to her so she could "get" him. (I believe "get" means grabbing him and squealing in his face.) Or she could use handcuffs (although I don't know where she's gonna get those). Or she could distract him and then pounce.
Don't be fooled, Lance! Run like the wind!