in remembrance

"Today many of them are here among us. Oh, they may walk with a little less spring in their step, and their ranks are growing thinner, but let us never forget; when they were young, these men saved the world."

-President Clinton, U.S. National Cemetery, Normandy, France, June 6, 1994 (50th anniversay of D-Day)

poor, sad baby

Ms. Bee apparently had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It started off all wrong because her teacher was out for the day and there was the dreaded substitute. (Not the borderline retarded one who left all the kids on the playground, thank heavens.) Beebs came out of class and leaned against me. I am forbidden from showing any affection to my big girls when in public -- no hugs or head skritches, and a kiss would cause the end of the world. So I let her lean against me and asked what was the trouble. She kind of sighed and the sub came over and said, "Elizabeth fell on the playground and scraped her hand a bit and banged up her knee," and she took Bebe's hand and there was the faintest red mark on her palm, "but I think she's OK." I thanked her and we collected Lou and started the walk home.

Bebe snorfled a tiny bit and I said, "You know, it's very sweet that the sub even knows your name. She seems very nice -- I saw her talk to you this morning when you were dropping off your backpack." "Mommy! How do you know that? That was after we got out of the car!" "I know, but Cha and I watch you two walk to class sometimes, that's all." "Don't do that anymore. I'm not a baby..." and then there was some more snorfling.

After we'd walked a bit, she said, "We were supposed to watch 'Ira Sleeps Over' but instead we watched 'Charlotte's Web' and now we'll never see 'Ira Sleeps Over'!" "Sweetie, you've seen 'Ira Sleeps Over' approximately a thousand times. Just tell your teacher on Tuesday and maybe she can reschedule it, OK?"

"She won't believe me!" I don't know where that came from -- but I just said that her teacher would believe her and left it at that. Then there was a tummyache later in the afternoon. Then she passed out on the couch and I had to carry her to bed.

Poor girlie. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. And she won't have to move to Australia. (Although I'm sure Isabelle would put her up, right Isa?)

thank you, steve nash

And the rest of the Suns, too. A game that wasn't a nail-biter was a nice way to end the day yesterday. And then it was a bit of a pounding at the end. But, you know what? Yay! It's nice to be able to breathe. Really, really nice.

On to the conference finals.

the suns are killing me

Oh, my God. Could they just win a game easily, without all the drama?

Also, I'm watching way too much pre-game and post-game commentary and it's turning me into my dad.

Commentator: What do the Suns need to do to win this game?
Me, screaming at the TV: Score more points than the other team! Morons!

mother's day

A few days ago, Archie asked me what I wanted for breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. "Lunch!" He didn't quite get it. "You want a sandwich for breakfast?" "No, I don't want to get out of bed until lunch." Heh.

So, this morning, about 9 or so, the girlies came in bearing breakfast and gifts. I got coffee and bagels and scrambled eggs. ChaCha climbed onto the bed and said, "Happy Mother's Day! Can I have some of your eggs?"

I recieved flowers. Bebe made me a magnet at school. Lulu made a candle holder. And I also got a lovely pair of pearl earrings from all the girls, with a little help from Archie. Then I just relaxed and went and had my hair cut and we had pizza for dinner.

A really nice day. A shame it only comes once a year. Hee.

another milestone

I just realized, of course days after the fact, that at the birthday party something really fantastic happened. All my kids are old enough that I didn't have to tend to someone or constantly scan and be aware where one or the other was at all times. I didn't have to take a little person to the bathroom or monitor for the bouncing pee dance. When we left the house, for the first time, I didn't take the Badtz-Maru "diaper" bag stuffed with snacks and toys and assorted ungents and bandages. I had conversations that lasted more than a sentence or two -- uninterrupted talking and listening. I had a really fun time myself, not just because the kids did.

This is huge. I came home a little tired, but it was because I had 2 beers, not because I was on high alert for 4 hours. That is a nice feeling.

i should've wished for a pony

That wish that the Suns beat the snot out of the Lakers? Hell, yeah. Bye bye L.A. Really, I should make better wishes. But that was a good, good thing.

A friend of the girls had a birthday party yesterday. Oh, the fun! The bouncy house, the gigantic pack of children squealing and jumping and running about. The relaxation of the parents eating delicious homemade tamales and drinking beer. The beating of the pinata! The scramble for the candy! Cake and jello!

The best part is when the tired, sugar-super-saturated, slightly crabby children fall asleep in about 3.2 seconds. I wish I could bottle that. Because that would make me a small fortune and then I could buy myself a damn pony.

they say it's your birthday

Well, it's mine, at least. So, happy birthday to me and happy Cinco de Mayo everyone.

The girls gave me a thoughtful present -- an oatmeal tin they'd decorated filled with little slips of paper detailing things they'd do for me today. Not fighting, not being crabby, cleaning up -- that sort of thing. Very sweet, right? I showed it to Archie, who said, "So, they're going to do all the things they should do anyway and call it a present and you're buying it? Sucker."

In other good news, the Suns beat the Lakers in OT last night in L.A. Take that, Kobe. Now, if they can just beat the snot out of them in Phoenix on Saturday.

Nothing much is going on here, right now. Minor illness, grumpiness, hilarity, and just regular day-to-day stuff. Which is all better than major sickness, no laughter, and on-going crises. I'll take more of the usual, please, and putter along.

(Also, the twins have made a new friend. This isn't really remarkable, except for the new friend's name. Gigi! Hey, here comes Bebe, Lulu, and Gigi! I could just die from the cuteness. I told Archie and he said, "You know, I'm not as big a fan of the repeating syllable nickname as you are." Whatever. Gigi fits right in and I think we need to find a Fifi or Mimi. The twins had a friend named Trixie last year, which was also fantastic, but Trixie moved away. To Hawaii. I think it's a punishable offense to be envious of a 5 year old. Hee.)

lakers suck

One of Archie's best friends called last night at halftime and was all chatty and up and I sent him into a steep decline. "So, Steve-O, are you calling to distract yourself from the tragedy that was the first half of the Suns game?" His voice got tight and higher-pitched and he said, "It's only halftime! It's only halftime!"

I hate the Lakers. Even if I didn't like the Suns (and I do -- especially Steve Nash who reminds me of the little, kind of greasy guy from "Bad News Bears" and "Breaking Away"), I'd be cheering them on to crush L.A. As Archie has said, it just doesn't seem fair that the Suns, as the number 2 team, have to play the Lakers in the first round.

I'm just hoping they can squeak out of this round. Otherwise, basketball season will be over for me.

(And, as an added bonus, my favorite Suns-related story! When Archie and I had sent out our wedding invitations, one of his friends called and asked if we'd considered changing the date. I asked him why and he said, "Because the Suns are playing that night. I might not be able to make it." I very calmly told him that we expected him to attend our wedding and that I was sure there would be a TV in the bar in the lobby of the hotel if he really needed to catch some of the game. You must keep in mind that we were married in December -- it wasn't like we chose a date in May, or something. Also, I did think it was kind of funny that we couldn't go to Phoenix for his wedding several years later because I was too far along in my first pregnancy to fly. We did send a nice gift, though.)

crud

OK, so the rain seems to have stopped for the season (pleasepleaseplease) and as of right now the sun is out. I'm still feeling low-level sick and wishing I could sleep for a solid week.

Thankfully, spring break is over and we're back to our regular routine. I generally enjoy having all the girlies at home, but being sick made it seem like the week that would never end. Here's hoping some sun and warmer weather will help get us all back on track.

whither spring?

Man, living in California sucks right now. OK, yesterday was gorgeous and sunny and warm. But it's rained almost every day for almost 2 months and I'm officially depressed and fed up. Also, that lovely day? Now I've got the "weather is changing very quickly" cold and I feel like shit and, of course, spring vacation starts for the girls today and I would like a nap, please. Bah.

I want more than a day of sunshine and warm breezes. I'm exhausted by the gray and clouds and damp. I need a lot of sunny days to break this funk.

he'll soon know heartbreak

The twins have a friend named Amari. He's a great kid and he comes home with us and plays and goofs off after school. Today we were watching the end of a Cubs game. I TiVoed past a commercial and then shouted, "Hey! It's time for the stretch!" And the girls came running so we could all sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". Amari seemed a little amused. Then we watched the final innings and we won! Yay! So the girls and I all danced around.

I know Amari plays Little League, so I asked him if he had a favorite big league team. He quickly said, "The Cubs!" I asked if he didn't really like the As or the Giants and he replied, "I did like the As, but you all cheer for the Cubs and I think I'll be a Cubs fan, too." Awww. Poor dear has no idea they'll break his heart.

I've turned more poor, unsuspecting children into Cubs fans. I think it builds character but Archie thinks it qualifies as child abuse. Heh.

thank god she's smarter than that dummy in the red cape

Whee. What a busy day. I'm surfing, listening to/watching the Cubs home opener, and also trying to play with Charlotte. (Why won't she just let me peacefully veg out in front of a baseball game? Why? Oh, yeah -- she's 4.) Today's play is to act out Little Red Riding Hood. We keep coming up against the fact that Cha is obviously much smarter than Red.

ChaCha: Lalalala.
Me (as the Big Bad Wolf): Hello, little girl. Where are you going?
ChaCha: I'm not talkin' to you -- you're a strange wolf!

Heh. So, we decide to cut straight to the big bedroom meeting.

ChaCha: Grandma, what big eyes you have!
Me: The better to see you with my dear!
ChaCha: I'm scared and going home!

So we're not so much acting out the fairy tale as giving it the new twist with a modern-day preschooler. I couldn't help but be reminded of the modified version of Red by James Thurber. It's the old story, but when the Big Bad declares he's going to eat Red, she pulls out a gun and shoots him dead. The moral? "It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be."

I guess now I can't even fool my own into acting the story out.

the sevens

So, Archie tagged me to do this list thing-y. (I'm not linking -- he's unpublished and trying to be all anonymous, so sorry.)

7 Things to Do Before I Die
*go to Australia
*go to Mongolia
*see a solar eclipse
*run a marathon
*see my Cubbies win a World Series
*play drums in Archie's hypothetical crappy cover band
*become a grandmother (I'm gonna require some assistance from one or more of the girlies for this one, heh)

7 Things I Cannot Do
*whistle a tune
*dive
*have any more babies
*burp on cue
*touch my nose with my tongue
*see those stereoscopic pictures (I have no depth perception, whee)
*do any math higher than algebra

7 Things I Like About My Other Half
*he loves me
*he's very, very funny
*he often vehemently agrees with me -- I think we probably sound like we're arguing, but we're just agreeing with each other
*he's a good dad to our girls
*he has funny terms of endearment for me
*he makes smooch-y noises and expects me to make smooch-y noises in return
*he often buys me chocolate

7 Favorite Books
*Infinite Jest
*The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
*A Prayer for Owen Meaney
*The Brothers K
*Summerland
*Pride and Prejudice
*The Great Gatsby

7 Favorite Movies
*Bull Durham
*Singin' in the Rain
*Raising Arizona
*Shadowlands
*The Thin Blue Line
*The Wizard of Oz
*The Singing Detective (this is a cheat because I'm not referring to the movie, but the BBC miniseries -- but it's one of the best things I've ever seen and I love it)

7 Things I Say
*"Archie!"
*"Bebe!"
*"Louisa May!"
*"Charlotte Jane Campbell!"
*"Do I look like the maid?"
*"Take a deep breath."
*"Please, please, stop hitting each other!"

Feel free to do your sevens. Leave a comment (or leave them in the comments) so I can read yours!

tater bugs

As the member of our family nearest to the ground, it falls to Charlotte to alert us to all the fun things the rest of us taller people are missing. In fact, she takes this responsibility very seriously and it's one reason why we have to leave early when walking somewhere. I just know she'll see something (a snail, a worm, a long row of busy ants) and we'll have to stop and admire it.

The other day, we were walking down to the school to pick up the twins. Cha stopped and yelled, "Roly poly bug!" So, we had to stop and make it roll up and then we had to wait and watch it unroll and wiggle all its legs and flip over and then make it roll up again. (When I was growing up, we called these bugs tater bugs and I think some people call them sow bugs.) We came upon another one a little further on and had to stop and repeat the process.

As we were walking back home, now with the twins along, we saw 3 of these creatures. And, since we didn't have to rush at all, we stopped and tormented the poor things. We must be quite a sight to the neighborhood -- 3 little girls and their mother, all crouched down talking loudly and laughing about bugs.

my california girls

There is a book by Calvin Triilin called "Fatherhood". It's about, well, his experiences of parenting his two girls. There is one piece in the book about how he was from Missouri and he just always assumed that his daughters were Missourians at heart who happened to be growing up in New York City. I think (it's been a long time since I read the book) he said he realized that his kids were real, honest-to-goodness New Yorkers when they would talk about subway directions and alternate routes at a very young age that he didn't even know existed, even though he'd lived in the city for the majority of his adult life.

Today, I realized that I have always kind of thought of my girls as little transplanted Midwesterners. But the following conversation I overheard in the car disabused me of that notion.

Bebe: We're having our class party tomorrow!
Lulu: Wow! You're so lucky!
Bebe: I know! It's gonna be so cool. Hecka cool!

Hecka cool. Dear Lord, I have children who are Californians.

(Also, Bebe said, "Snap!" to some comment of Louisa's, and I laughed for at least 5 minutes. Not only are they Californians, they are already cooler and hipper than I am. Which isn't much of a stretch, I admit. But still. Snap.)

i swear i've never even heard the song

So, I thought I needed to record my answer to the random question Blogger gives you for your profile page, because I'm sadly proud of it. Plus, I like to change the question now and again.

You have a red jar of cedar chips. Why do moths miss the forest?
They don't! My red jar of cedar chips brings all the moths to my yard.

Oh, God, I crack myself up. Off to hunt for a new question. I don't know that I can ever top that one, though.

the sentence that made me lose my shit

"I have no idea where your child is."

Let me explain. I went to the elementary school to pick up the twins. I was there, between the classrooms, before the bell went off. Lulu came out of her classroom and I noticed that she had a substitute. Then the door to Bebe's class opened and another sub stepped out. I waited. Then Lou said, "Where's Elizabeth, Mama?" I looked into the classroom and there were no kids inside.

"Excuse me. My daughter is in this class. Where is she?"
"I have no idea where your child is."
"Excuse me?"
"We were out on the playground and the bell rang. I came back here."

I felt panic and fear rising from my gut. I walked quickly, Lou right beside me, over to the playground. The entire class was running around, yelling and squealing. I hollered at all of them that the bell had rung and they needed to come back to the classroom -- I herded everyone up and walked back so Bebe could get her coat and backpack.

While I was waiting, the sub said, "I told them to come back when the bell rang. I came back. I don't know why they didn't."

"Well, they're six. And you're in charge. You can't just leave first graders on the playground."

It took every ounce of self-control not to punch her in her stupid, dumbass face. I couldn't go over to the office to complain because we had to go and pick up Charlotte at preschool. But I am going to give the principal an earful tomorrow morning.

slough

So, in a fit of boredom, I checked my stats for a laugh. Someone from Slough visited. Slough! Of "The Office" and Ozzy Osbourne's tragic all-terrain vehicle accident from several years ago. Said visitor was directed here by a web search for "removing a child's wobbly tooth". I am, of course, an expert on wibbly-wobbly teeth. But I do not recommend trying to remove them. Because if your kid is anything like mine, there will be cries of despair and upset. (It is possible I know someone who threatens to remove loose teeth just to incite the uproar. But you didn't hear that from me, oh no.)

In even less exciting news, I have found the Holy Grail of food for the girlies. Stir fry veggies with shrimp. My God, they ate as if they would never see food again. Sadly, shrimp are expensive and I cannot make this culinary delight every night. One young person cried when I told her the shrimp were all gone. Heartbreak!

(Also, I am a big liar. The shrimp were not, in fact, all gone. I just said they were so I could eat them for lunch today. Today, when I have a little time in my house all alone with no children. I will be watching bad TiVoed programs and eating shrimp.)

ac/dc

It's almost bedtime and Archie's fired up AC/DC on the stereo. While "Back in Black" blares and the girlies are doing their best air guitar heroics, Bebe yells, "This is the most rock and roll song EVER!"

Now they're all calling "Oi!" They're TNT, baby, they're dynamite. Watch them explode.